Why your bad day means you're a great mum
There are good mum moments and there are great mum moments. But they’re probably not the moments you think they are.
When would you say you consider yourself to be a ‘good mum’?
When you do things for your children that make them happy?
When you’ve had a day where you’ve done any or all of the following:
Got them up, dressed and out of the house on time.
When you’ve fed, changed and cuddled them and they’re sleeping blissfully.
Got the shopping in and finished the laundry, made dinner, had some quality playtime, got them off to bed with no fuss, and then had time for yourself before climbing into bed for a restful night’s sleep?
I’d imagine that you’d think of yourself as being a ‘good mum’ when things go to plan.
When your children aren’t feeling angry, upset, worried or otherwise feeling any of those other feelings you’d rather they didn’t have to feel.
When you’re feeling good about yourself, positive about how things are going for you and confident that you can manage whatever comes your way.
These moments make you feel like you’re a good mum.
But if that’s you being good then what does it look like when you’re being great?
Probably not what you think it looks like.
I’d say your greatness shines through when things aren’t going so well – but you know how to get yourself to a place where you handle it as if they are.
When they won’t get out of bed, won’t get dressed and are making you late.
Or when they won’t stop crying even though you’ve fed, changed and cuddled, on repeat for what seems like the most of the day.
Or when you’re having to throw together a makeshift dinner before the battle that is bath and bedtime.
But you still hold it together.
Or when so many things happen one after the other and you feel like if one more thing goes wrong it’ll send you over the edge…and then your toddler has a meltdown. But you don’t fall off the edge.
You somehow manage to ground yourself, stay calm, dig really deep and respond with the empathy and compassion that they need from you at that moment. With the empathy and compassion that means that the meltdown is over as quickly as it started.
And even if it doesn't end quickly, you STILL hold it together.
Those are great mum moments right there.
Who are mellownest anyway?
We're Claire and Nneka.
You might be wondering whether we're worth listening to - after all, we don't know your family.
But we do know a lot about psychology, child development and how little brains work.